So I am fairly certain that the only hour of sleep I got was this morning after the alarm clock went off. The ferrets were up all fucking night chewing on bottles, digging their food everywhere, and making a general ruckus that made me want to kill them. Even when I woke up Athena decided it was a good idea to keep trying to get in my bag and come to work with me so she could freeze in the car for at least 8 hours.

On top of this I nearly got into a couple of accidents on the way into work. The whole while debating if I should indeed even be going to work on so few hours of sleep. Some how and for some reason I am here at work. Let us hope I survive the day and the drive home.

Lastly I need to have a talk with Savage. Either I am sleeping at home on Sundays from now on or the ferrets are getting locked up and the bars are having something bad tasting put on them so Nemesis won't bite them all night. Because I have lost far too many nights of sleep and this is basically the last straw.

mood: tired

Many of you, especially you hun, already know about this so feel free to just skim over it if you want, but I want to put my thoughts down and such. I am also taking suggestions and ideas...

So Deidre and I have recently hit a road block in our relationship. That road block is a LARP (Live Action Role Playing Game) called Steam and Cinder (www.be-epic.com).

Before I met Deidre I got involved in LARPing. I love it very much. You portray a character or monster at a boy or girl scout camp out in the woods in either role play, mock combat, or both as the situation warrants. Costuming and make up is frequently involved. The best way I have found to describe this is full immersion improvisational theater. It involves rules like any other game, but otherwise is a full out play in which you play a part. I find this very fun, better then video games or table top games, mostly because of how fully immersive it can be.

About a year into our relationship I started working at Turbine. A video game company full of nerds and geeks. Well inevitably I rediscovered LARPing, as I had left my first one for many reasons. I began having fun with this quasi-sport-game-play thing again and because of that I found Steam and Cinders.

Steam and Cinders is a steampunk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steampunk) LARP. And I have truly fallen in love with it. I love the system, the people, the lore and world. My only complaints are that there is 1 outdoor shower and the site is relatively small, but these pale in comparison to the reasons I love it.

Ultimately it is an expensive and time consuming hobby. Costuming and weapons cost money, events cost money, supplies cost money and an entire weekend is dedicated to this. Deidre says she feels like we don't do enough together and losing both a weekend and all that money to do things with becomes a problem. I'm not sure I agree. The money is partly true, but we only went to movies every so often and we still do on occasion. The time we do lose, but it's also only 6 weekends a year out of 52. Her counter argument is that those 6 weekends are during the best time of the year to do things. I still feel there are 3 other weekends each of those months.

I think a large part of the problem is her parents. They pressure her all the time about a job, yet at the same time say she doesn't do enough around the house, when every weekend I am there I know we complete a handful of chores and take up most of the day doing it. I really would like to get her out of that house, so that A) they can see what they are missing and B) I could see her more often which I think would help this situation.

Another thing I think would help is if she tried LARPing and liked it. But too many things are there to consider. I won't go into them all but suffice it to say that she doesn't feel with her limitations she could play a character she would enjoy. She really doesn't like the idea of camping either. On top of that she feels the character she would design wouldn't hang around with the ones I and my friend have designed. Lastly, she isn't completely interested in the concepts and racces of this particular LARP. Being a Sci-Fi fan, and hating fantasy leaves many LARPs out of the question and a handful teetering, such as S & C.

We are currently stuck at a stand still. She would like it if I stopped LARPing or at the very least LARPed less. I feel that I shouldn't have to do such a thing. I miss her on the weekend, but at the same time I still dedicate those other 46 weekends to her. On top of that I feel and she has agreed that if we saw each other during the week this would be less of an issue. As it stands that isn't possible right now, but I think of it as we will eventually have that living situation.

As it all pans out I have no idea what to do right now... I want to avoid cutting time out of the LARP, but I also love her and don't want her to feel like I am picking the LARP over her. Right now I am mulling things over and hoping to find a solution/answer before next game (April).

*sigh*

mood: worried

At 5:30 this morning I set down my controller after playing a great game that had launched at midnight, called Halo 3 ODST.

At 5:30 this morning my mother woke up and walked by my room to go to the bathroom before returning to her room to sleep.

At 5:30 this morning my uncle was apparently just laying down to sleep.

At 5:30 this morning... My grandfather passed away in his bed at the nursing home after getting up, going to the bathroom and thanking one of the nurses for a good dinner earlier that night.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. For the most part I think I had buried him in my mind, as he was barely there anymore. Every now and then the Donald Beaulieu I that I knew shown through, but for the most part he was a confused and lost soul trying to understand where he was and what was going. I think I am more sad about that time then the event of his passing. He died in his sleep which is much better off then my grandmother who died in a hospital bed shaking violently from an inability to breath because of the damage done to her lungs by smoking. And apparently he died happy having had a good meal, been sleeping well and just alleviated himself.

I hope there is an afterlife where you are given a place where you will be happy for all eternity, because if there is this man who worked three jobs just to keep a family running, who went to WWII to help defend his family, home and country, and who was equal parts kind father figure and hard ass teacher to I and my brother, deserves such a place.

mood: sad

This is brilliant so I am sharing it everywhere, sorry if you already caught it on Facebook!

mood: giggly

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		8
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Some of you may know of my recent car problems. If not the short version is that the Hrysler, nickname for my current car, was going to be repaired for a few things, but I was told that the repairs I requested, plus a couple others they found would cost more than the value of the vehicle. So this means it wouldn't pass inspection without some serious money. It's sticker was due at the end of June... this meant car shopping for me.

Now I don't have a lot of money set aside for this kind of thing... My mom offered to help me, but even with her help it seemed I was doomed to a very old and crappy car. I started applying for financing with a few places. I was repeatedly shunted...

I can across a dealership in Taunton which had a very interesting car, a 2000 Toyota Solara. And while it's mileage was a little high for the asking price(128k for $5k), everything else about the car sings out to me as being what I desire and need in a vehicle. This combined with the fact that with regular maintenance some Toyotas can reach 300k miles has sold me on.

So I applied for financing after a lot of help from the guy there, and we got the ball rolling. Yesterday afternoon I had to call them to find out, but they told me I had been rejected. One of the reasons was that the car had more miles than they liked to finance for. He told me he would see if he could get me financed for the same amount on a lower mile vehicle.

Most of my hope lost I decided on a car I had been keeping an eye on that would merely service me as a vehicle and nothing more. Eventually my mom calls me into her room and hand me her headset... confused I take it and put it on. She plays a message from her phone... I got approved! for that vehicle!!! FUCK YEA!!!!!!!!

So I am all psyched, have to call the loan guy and get this thing all settled and should have a car by the end of the day!

The specs can be found here: http://www.autotrader.com/dealers/inview/detail.jsp?dealer_id=80880&dealership_view_name=www.tauntonrehobothauto.com&ct=u&car_id=264043292

And here are some pics of what the car looks like, not the exact one, but it's the right year and color:

mood: excited

So on Tuesday I got assigned to what is known to our players as Super Secret, Vast and Mysterious. I was a little worried about what this would do to what I normally work on, which is game systems(things like crafting, items and other things related to rules and non-standard game play in the game), but according to my boss this was more important at the time. So I begin this project which I am told is supposed to be done by the end of the week.

Well it started off lovely, since I couldn't actually access SSV&M on my computer for some reason. So I write a bug related to that. Today it comes down that someone figured it out. It was a firewall related issue... something I have been having far too much of since they did an update with it.

So this fixed I begin my work on SSV&M, two problems present themselves. 1) I am finding way, way to many bugs. 2) Because of one my work is being slowed severely... and it is supposed to be done by *drum roll* Yesterday! That's right... they didn't tell me they wanted it done Wednesday, but that was the last day for check-ins on the project... so all these bugs I am finding... yea they aren't gonna be fixed for another week or two...

So being stalwart I tell the people I usually game with Thursday nights that I won't be there because I want to pull some OT and get this as close to done as possible, just in case someone makes some last minute check-ins. (check-ins = bug fixes)

Well disappointed, my friends/co-workers understand. So I run off to grab dinner. I return and after eating begin work anew. My next issue comes soon in the form of me needing to ask a question of a superior... one which is not present despite the need of this to get done. So I press on, taking notes and such for questions to ask the next day.

Only an hour into my OT and something goes horribly wrong... SSV&M goes down. Meaning it cannot be accessed anymore and thus no longer tested. Meaning I have wasted time (the last hour plus the late drive home), money (dinner) and effort (canceling my attendance to my game so that I can make sure this gets done). To add insult to injury the DM for our game that night has already left, so we can't even make that up.

So... I do what any other individual who is angered by their wasted effort after fighting through set back after set back... I rip off my headset and throw it down on my desk in defeat, specifically in the direction of my keyboard... which lies right in front of my monitor... That's right... it bounced! Then proceeded to crash into the monitor at a much higher velocity than I had believed I had thrown said headphones. My left monitor is now trashed with a giant set of impact cracks in it.

At this point I wholly and fully gave up... I put in a ticket for a request for a new monitor with our IT department and left. Tomorrow oughtta be interesting indeed!

... and no the icon is not a coincidence... I think it fits perfectly.

mood: aggravated

So a little background... I am a Khenti Death Mage/Physician. Khenti are a combo of Egyptian and Asian culture. Death Mage are basically Egyptian necromancers, having dreams, resurrection and speaking to the dead added to the typical nerco powers. They had god-kings of old, but had a large and violent change in government resulting in the current communistic views. My character will be a decedent of the last god-king. He is being pursued by Loyalist who want the county to return to the old ways. While my character agrees with the views a decree of death for any claiming to be descended from the god-kings cause him to fear such a path. He ran away and learned to be a physician and was still pursued. So now has come to the city in the game.

Sorry for the pic-spam... I don't remember how to do a cut!

My Robes:



My Necklace:



My Bracelet:



My Ritual Mask: (Drool Eric... DRRROOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL)



Also plan on grabbing a military ammo belt for carrying things and a pair of combat boots for comfort and support! Let me know what you guys think and if you have any input toss it my way!

Unfortunately this is one of the depressed entries...

The worst part about it is I don't even want to post all the details... it's kind of embarrassing and I may upset some people... *sigh* I just feel like I need to mention that I am not feeling so great, kinda hoping that at least getting that portion of my chest will make me feel a little better.I hope I can sort through this thing, cause if not it is going to become an even bigger issue for me...

mood: blah

So my bro previously had child support from his father. Yup that's right, previously. Today at court (which I didn't even know the case was today) my mom tried one last time to convince a judge to force my bro's dad to keep paying... needless to say my brother neither has a job nor is continuing to go to school and thus his father's case is that is would be a waste to keep paying... guess who agreed with him.

So yea a bunch of money is getting taken away from the household budget... What does this mean...? Well my bro has no income so the rent goes down, but there is less money for food and other such things that are needed for day to day living.

My mother applied for food stamps, hopefully she will be approved and that will help. In the end it may be for naught though. I am currently in an odd limbo, quasi-legal living situation where I am technically living at my Uncle's house. But the long and short of that is that I have decided to start paying rent here, but that sounds like it might be more of a hassle now then my current state. I also am expecting to help with food around the house, which is more money.

I still have car issues to hammer out and some bills I am paying, two of which just showed up with late warnings that I know for a fact are mistakes, so I get to sort that out.

On top of that our Landlord is coming for inspection "sometime between Monday April 27th and the 22nd of May. Which means the house has to be cleaned and stay clean until they come and the cats have to be taken over my uncle's... idk how that is going to go, but yea not a fun situation, especially for the cats.

Lastly my Grandfather isn't doing well at all. He's sleeping alot, not taking his meds, not eating, is apparently beyond recognition of most situations, and only really drinking things on occasion. The weirdest part is I was told this by my mom last week and he is still around... I half expected to get a call this past weekend about him passing... This just hit me all of a sudden cause I had to go over my Uncle's to get my mail, that's where my grandfather used to live. As I was walking up I just kinda noticed his car wasn't there, then the reason why just kinda rolled over me... I'm feeling kinda crappy I didn't visit him alot...

I should make sure I go at least one more time... But I just hate seeing him that way... even being slightly senile it hurt me to see him... he was always a strong, loud, and smart frenchman. Seeing even a fraction of that gone is painful... I mean my mom said it the best way: she remembered that he could count cards, had taught her how and up until he was in the nursing home had been going to Fox Woods. When she said this it was because he couldn't even play Go Fish with her.

...

idk... I really hate watching him drift off the way he has... I pray to what ever fucking power is out there they take me fast, even if it's painful I don't want to put people who love me through what I feel now...

I guess I'm done for now, sorry it was long, just some stuff I wanted to get out... the Granpa thing wasn't even something I planned on writing when I sat down.

Why is life so fucking hard and painful...? Why didn't I choose a more hedonistic path where I could have blocked out the pain and ignored the difficulties? I can only hope there is a reason.

mood: blah

http://www.tweenbots.com/

I find this completely awesome!

1. What are your middle names?
Her: Nicole Me: Robert... my Dads name...

2. How long have you been together?
2 1/2 years

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
maybe a month or two... I don't remember.

4. Who asked who out?
I asked her.

5. How old were each of you when you met?
20

6. How old are each of you now?
23

7. How tall are each of you?
Her: 5'1.5" Me: 6'0"

8. Whose siblings do/did you see the most?
My bro is the only sibling on either side, so yea.

9. Do you have any children together?
Nope

10. What about pets?
We kinda share the caring of a pair of Ferrets, but other then that she has her pets and I have mine.

11. Did you go to the same school?
Nope

12. Are you from the same hometown?
hahaha

13. Who is the smartest?
Technically her, but she has problems expressing herself, so I can appear to be at times.

14. Who is the most sensitive?
Me

15. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
The Gaming House, every Sunday for the last year or so ^_^

16. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Burbank, CA

17. Who has the worst temper?
Definitely her, though when I finally get angry I know I can be really bad.

18. Who does/did the cooking?
She tends to cook more, but I like to cook and I almost always help.

19. Who is more social?
Me

20. Who is the neat-freak?
Right... is that a requirement for a relationship

21. Who hogs the bed?
I r big.

22. Who wakes up earlier?
Me more often then not.

23. Who has the bigger family?
Dunno for sure, but I would place my bets on her.

24. How do you spend the holidays?
Usually whatever her family is doing.

25. Who is more jealous?
most likely me.

26. Do you have little pet names for each other?
Kinda... I guess

27. How long did it take to get serious?
a couple months of dates.

28. Who eats more?
I over eat a bit, but she eats like nothing XP

29. Who sings better?
her technically, but I am far better at demon growling then her XP

30. Who’s older?
ME! By 2 whole weeks!

31. Who does the dishes?
the machine thing... it will rise up and kill us one day for all it's menial labor.

32. Who snores?
Apparently I do when sick... didn't know that till I read this thing though.

33. Who’s better with the computer?
We both have talents

34. Who drives when you are together?
Mostly me... I has job and gas.

35. Who is the first to admit when they're wrong?
She doesn't like to admit that when she actually is

36. Who kissed who first?
Most likely was me kissing her, but there is a slim chance I am wrong. I just know it was that night after 6 flags 2 years ago.

37. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
I like to think we take turns... I am just kinda lazy about such things, so she get's them more often.

Hey... does anyone know the Gaming House address...? I need it to plan a route to pick up Kyle and AJ before the LARP this weekend... you can e-mail me it so it's not posted on LJ for all to see. My e-mail is ss4golphner(at)comcast(dot)net.

I GOT FUCKING SCREWED!!!!!! I HATE FUCKING ASSHOLES LIKE THIS! WTF! SERIOUSLY I HOPE THIS GUY GETS CAUGHT AND FUCKING BUT RAPED IN JAIL!!! AND I HOPE HIS KIDS DO TO! I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

*breaths a sec*

So, yea I got fucking screwed on an eBay purchase... I knew it, I knew it, I knew it... anything that is too good to be true, fucking is. I bought Halo Wars Limited Edition off some guy on eBay on Friday. It was priced at $49.99 when it is normally $69.99 new... fucking sweet deal right? So yea I bought one of his copies figuring I was getting a sweet deal and that I could be really happy with that purchase... Well it said allow 3 business days for shipping... so I didn't honestly expect it to be shipped till tomorrow or Wednesday, but I checked my e-mail anyway. Nothing. So I decided on a whim to go look at the item....

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=ADME:B:EOIBSAA:US:11&Item=290305565266

You can see for yourself it's been canceled... My Paypal payment was made Friday when I bought it. He had also had a ton of them... like 200 so I figured he had a crate or something... but nope those can't sell that fucking fast and besides the item would still be listed as sold and over...

Soooo...

I wonder on over to my contact seller link to try to get a hold of him and see what's up.

http://myworld.ebay.com/cyberjagal

Note under his missing user pic that in bold red he/she is "No longer a registered user" FUCKING HELL MAN! Nothing for sale either... the seller just fucking disappears...

So I had to put in a dispute with Paypal... wish me luck... I hope I don't get screwed cause someone can't see the fucking facts about this...

Jesus fucking Christ... I hope he got enough people that they track his ass down and throw him in fucking jail for this shit...

Menawhile while I wait the potential 30 days it takes Paypal to review my claim I get to be down $50 and watch the market on the limited edition slowly raise so that it'll be ridiculous to buy... fucking bull fucking shit!


UPDATE: http://www.cheapassgamer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=219214&page=2

This is a link I was given per comment below. So it is apparently a scam... bummer I fell for it. I just hope he gets what he deserves and I can get my money back.

mood: pissed off

This is totally my Sunday group! XP

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/shadowrunrpg/78938.html

Anyone thinking of getting me a gift...? This is it! ^_^

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.

B) Tag eight people.

Whoever...


1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up:
-Computer
-Companion Cube Savage made for me
-1/16 scale UNSC BR55HB SR Battle Rifle and Type-51 Covenant Carbine
-Shadowrun Rule Books
-Headphones

2. How do you style your hair?
Um... I don't. Technically I shave it when it gets too long.

3. What are you wearing now?
Camo pants, Black LOTRO Shirt.

4. If you could spend an hour with any one person of your choice (be they dead or alive) who would it be?
I think at the moment that would be R.A. Salvatore, my favorite story teller.

5. Do you nap a lot?
Not really.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My Savage. :)

7. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
I am on a Halo kick, but I love all my fandoms equally!

8. What was the last thing you ate today?
A sprinkle doughnut.

9. What was the last text message you received?
Your account has had 30 minutes added.

10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Halopedia, LJ, Myspace, TSU, Facebook, Comcast, Pandora

11. What was the last thing you bought?
Chinese Food

12. What are you listening to right now?
The angry silence of nerds working... and the occasional small background convo.

13. What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
DAMN! I have to get up tomorrow... *sigh*

14. What is your favourite food ?
General Gao's Chicken

15. What is your favorite weather, and why?
*shrugs* Nice weather. I suppose clear is more important.

16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
I tried Sax, Keyboard, Recorder, Guitar and I am sure a couple others. I think I really enjoyed the keyboard and am fairly interested in learning the Bass and Drums.

17. How are you?
Meh... hating my stupid computer right now, otherwise mostly good though.

18. If you could make a movie, what genre would it be?
Dark and Epic Sci-Fi/Fantasy

19. Say something about the person who tagged you:
Wasn't really a tag, but I love her. :D

20. What was the weirdest dream you've had recently?
Haven't dreamt (or remembered a dream) for far, far too long.